Hello!

So, I’m rolling through the album… a song a day (pretty much)… sharing some thoughts about each one. Scroll down for the latest:

Today (Oct. 10th) it’s the last song, track #11: “Blink”.

BTW/FYI, you can find the “intro blog” about the whole album in general, in the blog section.

Oh, and please remember, the last thing I wanna do is water down or hijack your listening experience by putting all my expository junk in the way! I always prefer to make new music my own before I go behind the scenes and find out what the artist’s motivations were… if you’re like that too, then skip this or come back later:) It’s just a bunch of self-absorbed rambling anyway!

Track #1: RECKLESS

“Reckless” is the song that really let me know I was making an album. Up until I wrote it, I was mainly just going a song at a time, exploring this new piano based, organic sound, not really knowing where I was going.

In late April I got a call from my friend Del. Last year he had booked FALLBORN on this benefit concert hosted by “Twilight” author Stephenie Meyer. Now, Del was putting together a short tour for another best selling author, Cornelia Funke (Inkheart etc.). He explained that Cornelia had a new book coming out called “Reckless” and that her publisher wanted a singer-songwriter to come along on the tour and write a song inspired by the book. I jumped at the chance. I hadn’t been officially asked to do it yet, but I started writing:) As some of you know, I do quite a bit of “sport writing” for Disney and this was a chance to aim a song at a project in a similar way, but from a more personal, solo-artist perspective. Seemed like a fun challenge: to write a song that encapsulated the spirit of her book, yet was also a meaningful song for me personally that could stand on it’s own.

I quickly jumped on the internet and found a synopsis of her book, “Reckless”. The themes in the book were universal. The concept of a good kind of recklessness that can drive you to be fearless for the sake of someone you care about. To overcome trials in the outside world while overcoming inner obstacles… as much for the sake of someone else as for oneself.

I wrote 50% of a song, then ditched it… it didn’t feel quite right… I do this fairly often, if a song idea doesn’t seem to have “IT”, I’ll throw it away and stop wasting my time:)… so it was on to “Reckless” #2…

During this time I had been on a steady diet of Thomas Newman soundtracks, some Regina Spektor, some Rufus Wainwright and (strangely) Christmas standards from the 40′s and 50′s…

One morning, I sat down at this 80 year old piano (given to me by a contractor friend of mine) and wrote the intro piano part of “Reckless”… melodies starting coming fast so I ran out to my studio and laid down the piano in protools. This way I could sing over it without having to worry about playing what was a decently complicated piano part (at least for this drummer to pull off:)… this is my favorite way to write: to start recording as soon as the song takes shape in my head… So the recording is meshed with the composing to form a seamless marriage of the two… for me, this tends to make the arrangement and orchestration of each instrument an integrated part of the actual SONG rather than something that’s tacked on later as a spice… it’s a slightly more orchestral approach I guess… and it’s more fun:)… Anyways, I recorded drums that day as well and by nightfall I had about 70% of what you hear on the album. It was a blast.

In the days to come I kept tweaking it, recorded the vocal and had my friend Dave Carpenter put his juicy hollow body bass on it. I sent a rough mix off to Del who then sent it to Cornelia and her publisher Little, Brown. Thankfully they all liked it and I was officially invited to be on the tour.

I was happy:) It was mid-May and suddenly I had a tour booked in September and a growing batch of songs I was feeling good about and that really felt unified. I began to realize I was making an album… as the new songs came, I got more and more serious about the idea of re-going solo as it were (is that a correct usage of “as it were”? haha)… it seemed that I had a reason to finish an album… a deadline in the form of a tour. It was what I needed.

I cracked open the laptop and cruised iTunes… a few songs poked their heads out at me… BLINK… WHEN EVERYTHING ELSE IS GONE… THE HARD WAY… YOU SAY… these songs felt liked they were meant to be part of this new batch… they had the same spirit to them and a similar organic earthiness. I liked where this was heading.

Track #2: WHEN EVERYTHING ELSE IS GONE

This song has been around the longest… like I mentioned, most of these songs were written over the past 5 months or so… but this one has been around about two years, waiting to be finalized. Partly because I didn’t have real strings on it… just samples of strings played on a keyboard… and this song was crying out for the real thing… it wasn’t until two months ago that I was able to put a live string section on it and man, that was a cool day for me:) The song was suddenly born… so I made a few tweaks:

I kept the original guitars (Matt Rodriguez), and my lead vocal, (it had something in it that was tied emotion I had when writing it). But, I ended up re-tracking the drums (me) and bass (Dave Carpenter), which gave it a nice new kick in the rear. Also, last year Nic had played new piano on it… we were at Ocean Way Studios recording “Blink” and we thought since he was sitting in front of this amazing (and historic) Steinway piano we may as well knock out this song too. Word is, a lot of the massive Motown hits of the 60′s were recording on this piano… not that I buy into the idea that that means much of anything… but it is a sweet sounding instrument! I digress!

So this song is maybe the one that cuts the deepest… no, “The Hard Way” cuts the deepest for me… this song cuts the widest and sort of encapsulates the album as a whole.

When I wrote this one, I was pretty down… well, down and on the way up. I had been feeling pretty lost artistically… I had been blessed with some success as a behind the scenes songwriter/producer, but I wasn’t feeling fulfilled as an artist somehow, and that confused me… and made me feel like an ungrateful turd!

But, intuitively I felt like something was wrong with my mindset about it all. I’ve always naturally drawn a pretty clear line between the two things: 1) Writing music for some outside purpose, from a “service” point of view, as a career, and 2) Writing music from a personal and artistic place. It’s a similar set of muscles doing both… but they are very different things… one is a work-for-hire… the other, a self portrait meant, at it’s best, to serve as a mirror.

So when it came to the music that fell under #2, I wanted to be creating music that was more in sync with my faith in the Lord… but not in some lame or forced way. I wanted to reboot with a new operating system. Hooray for the stupid computer analogy.

Creating anything from a place of a “higher purpose” is one of the most slippery slopes around… it’s so easy to just slide right down into the cesspool of derivative cliche or pretense… and nobody really wants either… Shoot, maybe I’m guilty of both, even as I write this! Though I’m always doing my best to steer clear.

I think what I started to realize was that anything worth creating deserves absolute commitment. It’s a gift after all, creativity… and wasting it sucks. You gotta lose yourself in the music, the moment, you gotta… oh no!!… Seriously though… I was realizing that purpose is a process… a process of grinding against negativity and imperfection to seek positivity and purity (as trite as that sounds)… in everything… to set the aim and then go to work grinding. Consciously (and if I’m blessed: unconsciously) grinding against the limits of my talents… grinding against my shortcomings as a human being… my failures to love well enough… just have to keep grinding towards how the Lord has taught us to live and be… And in my opinion, all that grinding should be in a manner that is an outgrowth of who God made me/us to be. All the grinding is pointless if it’s not done from a place of uniqueness.

Though we’re all influenced by other artists, I’m a firm believer in trying to take influences in so deeply that they are filtered through our own uniqueness to the point that the whole thing becomes blended into a smoothie… if I can see the chunks, then maybe there hasn’t been enough blending… that’s the goal anyway:) It just hit me, there’s this famous quote, maybe you’ve heard it: “Talent borrows, genius steals”… oh and another one by the great surrealist painter, Salvador Dali goes something like “If you act like a genius, you will be one”… haha… That’s a fun one for all of us non-geniuses to chew on!

I guess what I’m trying to say is that in writing this song I was trying to get to the point… something I’m having a hard time doing in this blog!… I was re-pledging my allegiance to being an artist for the Lord. To try to live and create from a place of purpose… Because when I look back at my life from it’s end, everything I’ve done from any other standpoint is just gonna be worthless and silly… a chasing after the wind… which can be fun, but at the end of the day you’re just tired and you really haven’t done anything worth anything.

Ok, so I’ll finish up this bloated blog-rant with two more quotes found via one of favorite iPhone apps “iQuote 2.0″:

1. “The greatest use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it.” – William James (1842 – 1910)

2. “Make sure you have finished speaking before your audience has finished listening.” – Dorothy Sarnoff

Oops… I wonder if anyone made it this far?! Bye!

Track #3: LOVE SIMPLE

This song came together pretty fast. I remember the chorus in particular sort of appearing out of nowhere. I tend to write in little bursts of inspiration… I record little melodic improvisations over chord progressions, trying to capture worthwhile moments… hoping that something subconscious is jumping out. The stuff worth holding onto seems to happen when in the process of letting go. The best stuff comes quick and can disappear just as quick if the tape isn’t rolling… Sometimes I’m sewing together short bursts, sometimes they come out more fully formed.

Once I had this sort of surreal feeling verse progression the melodies came fast. The feeling of it reminded me of something… the past maybe… but also like a dream version of the past… sometimes I can’t tell the difference between something I dreamt and something that happened a long time ago… so I knew this song had to be about the past in some way… how it relates or contrasts with the present.

Life seems to get more cluttered and complicated the older you get. Some of it is unavoidable… you have more to be responsible for once you’re out on your own… paying bills, taxes, planning the future… it’s hard to reverse these complications… if you do, life doesn’t get simpler, you end up complicating it more dealing with the aftermath! But I think at any moment, we can always choose to simplify how we love… it’s not easy but I think it’s possible… God calls us to love and trust Him with a childlike attitude… there’s the model… and the simple things are often the hardest!

This one fits into the general them of “Murder Yesterday” as a concept. It’s that feeling of not being in that age bracket anyone would consider “young” yet not one that’d considered “old”… you know a few things, yet you still know nothing:) it’s an odd middle ground spot which makes you prone to reflection as much as you are prone to new beginnings and focused optimism about the future… a future that is tinged with that feeling that you have a bit of experience under your belt… and the idea that maybe you’ve learned from your mistakes enough to find that tasty balance of level-headed clarity and controlled recklessness……. or not. ha.

My longtime friend and collaborator Andy Dodd and I wrote a song last year with Tom, the singer of The Plain White T’s. It’s called “Irrational Anthem” (it will be the first track on their upcoming new album)… Tom seemed to be thinking about a lot of the same things I was, if in a different way… the idea of growing up and all the things that entails… Tom was expressing ideas of not wanting to forget what it was like to be wide-eyed and bushy tailed. The T’s new album which is called “Wonders Of The Younger”… I haven’t heard the whole thing, but it seems Tom and his buddies are looking back with nostalgia… I guess with this album of mine, I’m looking back, yet I’m doing some deliberate and selective killing of the past in order to move forward in a freer way. Though I’ve tried, I’ve never been one for nostalgia… this aided by the fact that my memory pretty much sucks:)… But also, I’ve always loved the idea of reinvention… whenever I write a new song I always have this little feeling like I’d like to erase everything that came before and have this be SONG ONE of the rest of my life! As if anything and everything else I’ve done is instantly meaningless in comparison… or flawed… that feeling lasts for a moment then I come to my senses and realize it’s ALL a process… there aren’t really any true final destinations or truly new beginnings… the whole thing is like a ladder. Even though I know this to be true, I can’t help but try to set the ladder on fire as I climb up it… murdering the past while lighting a fire under my _____:).

I came to realize recently that a few of the songs on this album could be perceived as a little “preachy”… I don’t see them that way… ’cause if I’m preaching to anyone, it’s myself! I was coming out of a rough period, and in a way I was writing myself out of it by singing about ideas and beliefs that meant something to me… almost like I was standing outside of myself giving myself a pep talk:).

“Love Simple” got a nice elegant kick in the pants when the strings were recorded. I love how they turned out… I had been working with the great Eric Gorfain from The Section Quartet on arrangements for some other songs and I couldn’t resist slathering this song with some as well:)

I really enjoyed putting together the textures on this one… the tack-piano, the orchestra chimes, glockenspiel and roomy drums. For some reason this song was asking for a guitar solo, so I didn’t resist and I brought in Scott Harrah from my wife Natalie’s group The Natures to play it. Scott is a super talented guy and I love how much heart he put into this solo… there’s nothing flashy about it, it’s all melody (thanks Scott!). Later, y buddy Cory Joseph came in and added to the party with some rhythm acoustic guitars. It was a nice breath of fresh air to have some friends in on this one:) Hope you like it!

Track #4: All I Want

This song squeaked onto the album at the very last minute. I wrote and recorded it quickly during the last couple weeks of the mixing process… maybe a month ago now. I kept having this urge to have something on the record that was written about as recently as humanly possible… so the record would truly be a snapshot of right NOW… didn’t wanna force it of course… but after being entrenched in the mixing process for a couple weeks, 10-14 hours a day, I was itching to just create/write for a minute.

For the most part this song revolves around this four-bar-long piano part… hmmmmm, wondering if I should share this part of the song’s inception… ah screw it!: Okay so, my wife and I love cruising antique stores (Old Town Orange is a favorite spot)… something about this old stuff that intrigues us… every piece has a story… so one day I found this little toy piano… it’s like two and a half octaves… made of wood and plastic… sits about 14″ high… sounds kinda junky/clunky, yet also kinda magical… like a windup music box or something… the thing just has a soul to it… so one day I decided to put the thing in the bathroom of my studio… right in front of the toilet. Not sure why… just seemed like a good idea… So anyone sitting on the toilet could just reach right out and play a little piano… literally. Having it there made sitting down to pee, kind of a fun idea… anything I can do to increase the ol’ productivity:)… maybe next I’ll put a toilet in the control room…

What I quickly realized is: the creative mind operates differently when it’s caught with it’s pants down! TMI?!? Maybe. I hope this doesn’t ruin the song for anyone, but this piano part was written in the bathroom on this little toy piano:) I went straight from the bathroom to protools and began recording it, improving melodies and writing lyrics.. laid down drums… by the end of that week it had live strings courtesy of Eric (violin) and Richard (cello) of The Section Quartet, hollow-body bass via Dave Carpenter, and it was done and ready to be put on the album. A little love song for m’lady:)… She actually just walked in the room as I’m writing this… I realized she may not know this story… so I’m gonna tell her………….(telling)……………….. she smiled and said “really? that’s cool”. She’s a keeper!

Track #5: The Hard Way

Like I mentioned, I think this song cuts the deepest for me of any song on the album. I can be a pretty stubborn guy, so the hard way tends to be how I learn my lessons:) I guess we’re all victims of ourselves in one way or another… This song is about that, but also, and more importantly, it’s about grace.

This song really came together when Eric Gorfain wrote the string arrangement. I gave him free reign to just do whatever came to him on it. My only direction was to embrace the dissonance and do a lot of counter melodic movement wherever he felt it. I was absolutely blown away when I got his mockup back. This was the first song I decided to put strings on and it opened the door to all the others because I was so ecstatic about what it did to amp up the song’s emotions.

When we recorded the strings, The Section Quartet nailed this on take 2… and three of them had never even heard the arrangement until that day, sight-reading it on the spot on take one. CRAZY. I almost felt like I wanted to do another five takes just to feel like I got my money’s worth! haha. I got my money’s worth and then some.

Track #6: UNCONDITIONAL

Ok, so I didn't blog yesterday... it wasn't laziness though, I had a piano (that I've owned for awhile) moved into my studio yesterday... it's a Steinway upright from the year 1900... old and awesome! Nic and I mic'd it up and put it through it's paces:).... Nic christened it with some Chopin:)... it sounds so good, I'm STOKED... Okay so on to my belated Blogosaurus Rex: